The Author Meets His Muse - And She Is NOT Amused!
by MightyTrustKrusher
Summary: Part 3.5 and the final chapter in the "Lorde Trilogy" finds the author on a book tour promoting "The Lorde Trilogy." However, Lorde herself shows up to confront the author in the least likely place and she wants some answers! Will the author be able to explain why she became the object of his (anti-)affections well enough for Lorde to be satisfied?


**PART 3.5: THE AUTHOR MEETS HIS MUSE (and she is not amused)**

"Could you sign it: 'To Heather,' please?"

"Certainly." D placed the pen to the first page and wrote 'To Heather, thanks for your support, 'D.''

As he gave the book back to her, he said, "I had a girlfriend I almost married called Heather."

"Oh, I'm sorry you didn't get married. Are you going to write any more stories? Anything new coming up?" she asked.

"I have some rough drafts I'm looking at, seeing if I can develop them into anything further. Mostly doing reviews of music and books for now. I'm sure I'll put out something pretty soon. I'm always on social media because I have no life," he joked as they both smiled. "Thanks again."

"I'll certainly follow you. I'm looking forward to what you have next," Heather said as they shook hands.

"Thank you." The next one with a book to be autographed approached the table.

"What's your name?"

"Steve. This was an interesting book. Lorde didn't get upset that you wrote it about her?"

As he signed the book, D said, "Never heard from her or her management. I consulted my lawyer before to make sure I wouldn't get my ass sued. He said I was OK because she's a public figure; we classified it as a parody so we could be covered under the Fair Use Act. I think she felt if she didn't say anything about it, no one would notice. Didn't work though, obviously. Who knows? Maybe she secretly liked it but didn't want to invite other people to make books about her too." Steve and D shook hands. "Thanks for coming out, Steve."

The next woman, a curvy woman in her mid-20's, handed him the book. "Hi, what's your name?" he asked as he looked up at her.

"Elena," she said with a slight British accent. "I loved your book's sex scenes. They were quite the turn-on! I loved how you gave just enough information for me to create the details on my own!"

"Well that was the point. I didn't want to describe what the people looked like, how they sounded or too much information except if it was vital to the plot of the story. The imagination is the most erogenous zone, as they say!" D said with a smile as he signed her book. Just then, a business card with her name, e-mail, phone number and other information slid out of the dust sleeve.

"Don't want to forget that, do you?" He asked as he handed her back the signed book along with the card.

"Oh no, the card's yours…just in case you need some 'inspiration' for another short story collection…" Elena slightly cooed as she winked at him.

It took a few seconds for D to comprehend what she meant. When he did, his eyes widened and let out a started "Oh! Uh…yeh, well thank you… uh, I may do just that. Very thoughtful of you."

Instead of shaking hands goodbye, Elena asked, "Can I get a hug instead?" D, never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, said "Sure…highly unusual but…yeh." As they both embraced over the table, Elena whispered in his ear, "You're cute, call me tonight." D replied back "I will." Elena snuck in a quick smooch on his neck before they parted. As Elena left the bookstore, she turned around and winked at him.

"Wow," D thought, "my first potential groupie." He continued to sign books until all who came for an autograph left with one.

"That was a good book signing," Adam, the bookstore owner, said to D as they broke down the folding desks and chairs.

"That it was. How many copies did you sell today?" D inquired.

"About 75. That's a decent amount for a short story paperback – especially about Lorde – especially an erotic trilogy about her!"

"I guess it appealed to those who are too young and impatient for '50 Shades of Grey!'" D said as they both laughed.

After D received his payment, Adam asked, "Where you off to now? Doing anything exciting tonight?"

"Eh. I might just go back to the hotel, rest up. Relax in the pool and get dinner. I have to be in St. Louis for another book signing and I want to get an early start on the morning."

"I'm surprised you're staying in a hotel rather than going back to your place tonight," Adam said.

"It's some promotion thing by my book's publishing company. They have some deal with the hotel where the authors stay in the hotel for free; somehow it works out for everyone involved. Besides, how often do I get to be catered on by a hotel with an indoor swimming pool and hot tub?" I'd be a fool to turn that down!" D explained.

"I hear ya there. You gonna give your, uh, fan a call, there, Casanova?" Adam asked with a sly smile.

"Yeah, that was weird, huh? She was pretty hot though. And that British accent? Always helps!" D said with a smile. "You know, I may just call her. I have to find a way of blocking my caller ID or call from a pay phone so my number doesn't get traced."

"Well, _don't_ tell her where you're staying or give out your room number! You never know how fucked-up these 'fans' can be." Adam said, a bit concerned. "Always meet at a neutral location. A restaurant or bar that's not part of the hotel is best. Preferably someplace at least a few blocks from where you're staying just in case you have to bail if she IS some psycho!" D nodded in agreement. "Think with your brain and not your dick! That's what my dad always told me!" Adam added.

"You had a wise father." D said. "Appreciate the advice." They shook hands goodbye.

"Let me know when you've a new book coming out and we'll get something arranged again." Adam said as D opened the door to leave the bookstore. "I will! Thanks again, Adam!" D said as he left and closed the door.

Once back at the hotel, D rode the elevator to his floor and looked at the card again. "So tempting... but Adam's right. I better not." He saw the e-mail address and decided to play it safe. He would e-mail her from his business contact address and give the "thanks for coming out" line. As the elevator doors opened, he stuck the business card back in his rights pants pocket and made his way to the room. He unlocked the door, looked into the room and-

"Well, hello Mr. 'D.' So good to see you. Or should I refer to you as 'Scott?' Since that's what your real name is, right?

D stopped dead in his tracks. The woman sitting in the chair at the desk in his hotel room was definitely NOT a welcome guest! And it was about the last person he wanted to see in his hotel room right now.

"Well hello, Lorde. What an unpleasant surprise it is to see you. I'm glad to see you've made yourself at home in my hotel room. Breaking and entering will look really good for you at the beginning of your criminal history."

"Oh please, call me 'Ella.' I'm off the clock you know." Yup, she had read the book alright. And she was definitely _not_ looking for an autograph!

Scott closed the door behind him and let out a forced sigh of frustration. "Oh. The sarcasm. I don't think I can take it." he said in a dead monotone. They stared at each other for a few seconds. Ella sat with her arms folded, legs crossed, wearing a shapely dress and a look of contempt that would melt glass. "So..." he continued, "How can I help you, what are you doing in my hotel room and how the hell did you get in here?"

"It was that maid's uniform I stole. Really helps avoid detection, you know," she said, still staring at him emotionlessly. "OK, yes, I get it, you read the book. That still doesn't explain why you're here. We gave your people plenty of time to stop the book from being published but you didn't say anything," Scott shot back.

"Oh my people knew about the book, alright... _I_ didn't, however. You know what it's like to get besieged with tweets asking for my opinions about some smutty book some old yankee fuck wrote about me and I have to ask them what they're talking about?" Ella was getting a little madder with each response.

"That's not my fault. That's your management's fault. If they want to shield you from objectionable things about you like a five-year-old, you should get better management." Scott was prepared for this battle of wits that had commenced. "For fuck's sake, Ella, you're a grown woman, not a kid. If a fiction book I write about your fictional freakiness upsets you, maybe you shouldn't be a public figure anymore. Besides, I thought you were a 'sex-positive person' - I believe those were the exact words you used?"

"I'm 'sex-positive,' not a fucking porn star." replied Ella.

"To-MAY-to, to-MAH-to. Believe me, what I wrote was really fucking vanilla. I could have written a book about you being into hardcore S&M and body fluids."

"Oh thank you, Scott, your generosity knows NO bounds!" she replied sarcastically. "I so much would rather have two cocks in my ass, being covered with cum and being the biggest pansexual whore on the planet. Wait, what else did I do..." she said as she went to the back of her copy of the book where she had written her activities down like a laundry list. "Let's see, gave blowjobs to anything with a dick and swallowed the cum like it was a milkshake, had my boyfriend rim me as part of a bet, instigate an sex orgy with a band, fuck a fanzine editor AND a transsexual - yeh, oh I loved THAT part, let me tell you - visited some nudist colony in the shithole state of Kansas, fuck lots of other people besides my husband and end up doing a final tour totally nude and then running a nudist camp." She glared at him as she closed the book and threw it on the table.

Scott stared at her the whole time and waited until she had finished ranting. "Excellent book report, Ella. You get an a gold star and 10 more minutes at recess today... Look, I had you marry James and give birth to kids. It's not like I had you become a stripper or a prostitute. Everybody has their sexual kinks. You, me, all of us. I wanted to write an honest erotic book. And for some reason...well, you were the muse - or more accurately, the _anti_ -muse - that encouraged me to write about it. It became an obsession once my daughter and ex-wife moved away. I did it to stave off depression and to occupy myself so I wouldn't die from sadness."

"But why _me_ , Scott? You don't even like my music that much. I've even heard you say you weren't in my target demographic!" For the first time, Lorde seemed to ease up slightly on the man she had been attacking.

Scott looked at Lorde for a few seconds and then sighed as he sat down on the bed next to where she was sitting. "It was that damn Replacements song you did. I heard it early 2014 and it sounded like Suicide had done it. Up until then, I was successfully avoiding all mentions of you and all your songs. Then I saw that on a YouTube clip and..." Scott closed his eyes and sighed again, "I saw how attractive you were, and something came over me. I felt awful because you were young enough to be my daughter but you were like a siren, serenading me in with your music."

"What about it?" she asked.

"For all its intents about being original, it made no impact with me but it drove home the point about how old I was and that good guitar-based rock-n-roll was fading. And I was damned if I was going to let the likes of you and all the Taylor fucking Swifts and the fucking Beyoncé's and rap artists kill off one of the last honest music forms left." Scott paused to collect his thoughts. "I had to humanize you. You were so famous and wealthy and powerful that for all your statements about you being a normal teenager - well, you weren't! It's like if Bill Gates said he was just an office employee. Well, that's bullshit. And you're not a normal teenager either, not now, not ever. You date a 25 year old! That's like my 6th grade daughter dating a high school senior! I'm sorry, but that's fucked up. No other way to describe it. How the hell did your parents approve that one, anyway?"

"They met him when things were getting serious between us. They made sure he wasn't some sort of degenerate or ex-con."

"Well, I'm glad you two get along so well but as freaky and open-minded as I am, I would never let my daughter go out with someone seven years older than her until she turned 25."

At this, Lorde smiled a little. "You definitely are a good dad." "I try to be. My daughter is my world and I'm always worried about her when she's not with me. But dads can be rockers, lovers and freaks, too," Scott replied.

"She knows about your tattoos?" she asked. "Of course... the ones that are visible when I go swimming anyway." he answered. Lorde smiled and became more at ease talking to him now.

But Scott had had enough. "Look, I'm honored that you're here - I wish it was under better circumstances - but... what is it exactly that you _want_ from me? You're not suing me, you're not arguing or fighting with me... what _do_ you want?"

Lorde's face began a seductive smile as she looked at Scott and rolled her chair to where he was sitting on the bed so that they were inches away from each other. She stared in his eyes and said, "I wanted to see if you were as good in bed as you made yourself out to be in those stories..."

With that, she closed her eyes, put her lips next to Scott's and began a slow, sultry kiss. They stayed like that for five seconds...then ten... then fifteen... When they parted, Scott said, "You're a good kisser, Lorde." "I was just about to say that about you too," she replied. "Let's see how well you can do... shall we say... under pressure..."

Lorde then grabbed Scott and forced him down onto the bed as Lorde laid on top of him and kissed him again, this time with her tongue rammed into his mouth and him returning the favor. After a few seconds, Lorde began to undo Scott's shirt buttons as she brought his hand to go under her skirt, now hiked up past her beautiful round ass, to undo her bra. He had just unfastened it and she was about to take his shirt off when-

Four knocks at the door.

Scott almost said "Great...just my goddamn luck..." when Lorde yelled, "Just a second, Elena!"

Scott couldn't believe this. "Elena? The blonde British girl from the book signing?" Lorde got up to unlock the door. "Yup. Her!" She peeped through the door hole to make sure it was her and smiled as she opened the door. "'Ello, luv!" Elena said as she kissed Lorde full on the lips. "Hey, hon, glad you could make it - and right on time too!" Lorde replied. "Oooh, got his shirt off already, eh? What a nice hairy chest he has! Well, I certainly can't let you have that all to yourself, can I now?" Elena said as she "scolded" Lorde. "I know, hon, I shouldn't be selfish, especially with a hot mature man like him!" Lorde said as they both smiled.

Scott couldn't believe what was happening. Not only was Lorde wanting to fuck him, but somehow she knew the girl from the book signing - and they were BOTH in the hotel room ready to pounce on him! "How do you two know each other?" he asked - not that he was _complaining_...

"Twitter friend," Lorde explained as they began to undress. "She was in Kansas City, I was passing through. I wanted to hang out together then we saw you were in town," she said as she brought her panties off while Elena was doing the same, "we thought we'd have a little fun."

But how did you know what room I was in?" Scott asked as the girls placed themselves on either side of him totally naked as Elena unbuttoned his pants and forced them off. "I called your publishing company saying I was a journalist for a New Zealand paper and they told me where to find you. And when the hotel found out who I was and that I wanted to speak to you, well...they were putty in my hands, as the saying goes!"

"Ooh, he's got a nice cock, doesn't he, Ella?" Elena said lightly fingering it up and down the shaft as it became rock-hard. "Mmmm - beautifully cut too! I love a nice big mushroom head on a thick cock!" Lorde replied as she smiled and started kissing his chest. "Ordinarily I'd get pissed if my personal info was given out but I'm willing to make an exception in this case…holy fuck!" Scott gasped as Elena began to give him a full blowjob, taking his huge rod all the way in.

Lorde said nothing as she stood up with a serious seductive expression, placed herself directly over his mouth and slowly moved her hips down until she was right on his face. Scott moaned his appreciation as he grabbed her sexy hips and forced them down even further so his tongue was licking her swollen clit and going directly into her pussy, making sure he was getting every last drop of her juice.

Lorde grabbed his head and force it further against her cunt, as far as it could go. She gasped as she looked to the ceiling and yelled, "Oh FUCK yes, you damn American, eat that pussy!" Scott made sure to taste all her "royal" pussy juice. She began to play with her own tits as she closed her eyes in ecstasy over how great Scott's tongue and mouth were treating her southern hemisphere.

"Turn aroun' luv. I'm placing this hot yankee dick in my British kitty!" Elena had stopped sucking Scott off and was holding onto his cock, guiding it as she was over him and slowly let the phallus part her wet pussy lips to the sides. Slowly she went down, gasping as it went in until she was riding it fully. "Oh FUCK, this is a nice cock!" Elena gasped.

Lorde, meanwhile, had gotten up from Scott's mouth, looked down on him with a seductive smile and said, "That's enough of my kiwi! Now time for some of my cucumber sandwich!" as her beautiful, shapely ass found its way to Scott's mouth. As he had predicted, she had cleaned herself up just like in the stories. He started by biting her ass cheeks which prompted Lorde to gasp as the ceiling "YES! BITE THAT ASS, BOY!" Lorde also enjoyed when he started slapping her ass - hard. "Yeh, baby, hit that ass hard! Fuck yes!"

He parted her sweet ass cheeks and started licking them then found his way to her starfish. He began to rim the outside circle which turned Lorde on immensely. Lorde and Elena were making out with each other while Elena was bouncing up and down on Scott's wet cock and Lorde was getting the rimming of her life. Elena began to suck Lorde's left breast as Lorde drew herself further in to get as much of it in her mouth as she could.

Elena then lifted her head up and asked, "Wanna ride this nice fat cock? I'd like to have your friend tongue MY asshole for a while!" "Oooh, sure, honey, I wanna see if that cock is as good as I've read," Lorde replied with a wink. Before too long, Lorde was lowering her hips down onto his well-exercised and hard penis. As her cunt began to let it in slowly, Lorde just kept saying "Oh my god, Oh my GOD!" until it was in all the way. "I can see why you liked riding this dick, Elena! Wow!" Lorde said as Elena began to lower her hips down.

Scott was able to lick Elena's pussy before her hot ass made its way down onto his mouth. The sensation of him rimming her brought the British girl to a quick orgasm as she began to make out with Lorde, riding his hard cock straight up into her cunt. Occasionally he would slap Elena's ass or sensually touch other parts of her body.

"GOD! Yes, Scott! Eat that ass out!" Elena said while Lorde grunted, "Oh _fuck_ yes, this cock is awesome!" as the two continued to make out with each other. Scott could feel the cum about to explode out of his rock-hard cock. "I'M GONNA CUM! GET OFF ME!" Immediately the two girls did as they were told. They knelt down in front of Scott as he was prepared to cum all over their faces.

"OHHHH YESSSS!" he yelled, putting all his effort into it. It definitely worked as he stroked gobs of cum all over Elena's and Lorde's faces and open mouths. "Mmmmm - you taste great!" Lorde said as the two women licked each other's faces to get as much of Scott's sperm inside their stomachs as possible.

Scott lay down on the bed, staring at the ceiling, out of breath as Elena and Lorde fell on either side of him. "That was awesome!" Lorde said as Scott faced her. "Yeah, it was. Fancy another go-around in a few minutes?" he asked. "No Scott, I can't." Lorde replied. "Why not?" he asked? "This isn't real, Scott. These are only words you're typing into a computer. None of this ever actually took place, hon. Look to your left. There's no Elena. It was only a figment of your creativity."

Horrified, Scott immediately turned to his left. It was true. Elena was gone. There was no trace of her even being there. "Wh-what happened? I thought we had a hot threesome going and-" Lorde interrupted him as she shook her head. "None of this ever happened. In fact, none of those stories ever happened - the orgy with the rock band, the threesome with the fanzine editor and transgender maid in the hotel, the final tour, the nudism - none of that happened at all."

Scott bolted straight up. "You mean, _this_ isn't happening either? I didn't have a book signing or any of that stuff?" "No, Scott, I'm afraid not. In fact, I don't even exist right now. These are only words you're typing into a laptop and reading on a VDT. I'm sorry."

Crushed, Scott realized what was transpiring still wasn't at all real. It never could be, no matter how much he wrote. "That really sucks. I thought I would have satisfied a lot of fantasies by us having great sex and-" "Scott, I'm sorry. But the truth of the matter is that you and I will never meet. You and I will both go on our ways, doing what we always do, our paths never crossing," Lorde told him.

"Look." She grabbed Scott by the shoulders and turned him around. "You are an AWESOME guy! You're creative, funny, smart and still pretty damn cute for a guy your age! You are an awesome dad and a hell of a stud in bed! Any woman would be proud to have you as their life partner!"

A sad smile crossed his face, "Well thank you, hon. I guess writing a story about us fucking is almost as close as we get to us actually fucking?" "Probably," she replied, "I won't get pregnant or any STDs this way either." Both of them smiled at that.

"It's probably time for you to go, huh?" Scott asked Lorde. She nodded her head sadly. "Yeah, it is. You gotta wake up from your dream." Scott knew this was the end - but he wasn't quite finished. "Hey, Ella? One more thing?" "Sure, what?" she asked.

"Could you kiss me? I want this to end on a high note," he replied. "Of course, hon," she said with a slight smile on her face.

"Goodbye, Ella," Scott said.

"Goodbye, Scott," she replied, closing her eyes and drawing herself towards him.

He locked lips with Ella, they began to part their wet lips and lock tongues when all of a sudden-

"SCOTT! SCOTT! WAKE UP!"

The woman's hand that woke him was familiar. Startled, Scott woke up and tried to get himself to the land of the living.

"Huh? The fuck? What?" He tried to make sense of what was happening.

"Honey, are you OK? You were yelling 'Please don't go, please don't go!' over and over. You must have been having a bad dream!" The sight of his partner's reassuring hands and beautiful face forced him to gather his wits.

"Oh baby…what a nightmare I had!" Scott began to settle down and tried to remember everything that happened. He looked in her eyes and he finally began to breathe normally. "I dreamt...I was in a band touring New Zealand...and then I was a fanzine editor interviewing some famous female vocalist and then a transgender waitress showed up and then...I was on tour with the vocalist but we were at a nudist colony in Kansas and-"

"Oh baby, it sounds awful!" She hugged him tightly and began to shower him with kisses; he fell back on the bed as he drew her down with him, still in a tight embrace. "Mmmm, well, I'm glad that's all over. You think you'll be ok for the party tonight?" she asked.

"Party? Party..." Suddenly Scott became concerned for his daughter. "Wait, where's Sarah?" "She's spending the night at a friend's house. Don't you remember? You and I are going to the 'club,'" she said with a seductive smile. "We're going to meet that girl from the college who you said looked like Lorde. She's bringing a few of her friends." She kissed him again. "I've always wanted to see you in a reverse gang-bang being fucked by a bunch of cute girls so we're going to finally do that tonight!"

Scott finally remembered. His partner was always the freaky type and since they met a few years back, their sex drives weren't abating, despite their ages. Of course, to the outside world, they looked like your average nerdy post-punk couple with a few tasteful visible tattoos but behind closed doors... well, their actions could put most adult film companies' actors and actresses to shame!

"Yeah, I remember…" he said smiling. "I hope I can 'rise' to the challenge!" "Oh believe me, you will... remember that time at the nudist colony in our cabin when you kept fucking me for three hours straight?" She said, removing her shirt and letting it fall on the floor. "That was the most fun I've had being ravaged into exhaustion!" She nuzzled up to him, grabbing his hardening cock.

"Yeah I remember that. That was a fun night," he said. "Anyway, I better not drain you now even though I'd love to have that in my mouth," she said, kissing and licking the top of his penis. "I made your favorite dish for dinner - eggplant parmesan. I'll warm it up for you and then we can get ready together." Scott smiled. "Take a shower together?" he asked stroking her hair.

"Of course! I wouldn't have it any other way!" she said as they embraced in a long French kiss. "I love you so much, baby. You are the best thing that's ever happened to me!" Scott told his partner as they both smiled. "Oh, sexy, the honor is MINE! You made me so happy about myself and were the first guy who didn't care about my body size!" she told him.

"There is NOTHING wrong with your body! Please stop saying that. A friend of mine said you looked like that comedienne Amy Schumer!" he said. "Oh SHE'S wicked cute! I wouldn't mind having a threesome with her and you!" she said with her face directly against his. "Well, maybe one of the girls that Lorde lookalike is bringing will look like her," he answered.

"Do you mind if I write something down before we head downstairs?" he asked her, grabbing a legal-size pad and pen.

"Of course, baby! What are you going to write?" she inquired.

Saying nothing, Scott began to write on the paper: "Is this fucking tour over yet?" "One more." "One more...one more...one more...number nine...number nine...number nine..." Andrew threw his duffel bag in the van, repeating tour manager David's words and segueing it into the classic Beatles musique concrete track."

He put the pen and paper down on the bedside table. "That's enough for now. I'll write the rest when I have time," he told his partner as they got up and prepared for a fun evening.

Meanwhile in New Zealand...

"Ella? Are you OK?" Joel Little, Lorde's record producer, stopped the tape and inquired about the vocalist in the studio at the mike with some concern.

"Yeah...I think..." Lorde said, still unable to comprehend what this bizarre sensation that was coming over her was. She dropped her headphones on the floor and bolted into the control room. Seeing a pen and pad and paper she began to scribble furiously the following phrases in a list in order:

Post-punk  
Blowjobs  
Indie-Rock band  
Hotel groupie  
Fuck fanzine editor  
Transgender hotel waitress  
Rimming  
Nudist Colony  
Kansas  
Hot tub orgies  
2025/2038  
Pregnant

She immediately dropped the pen and paper as if it was electrified. With her mouth open, she just stared at what she had written. "Ella, what's wrong? You were writing like a madwoman just now!" Joel said, not knowing what she was up to.

"I...I don't know...I just got inspired and..." she picked the pad of paper up and looked at it for a few seconds. "I think I have some ideas for my next album...Hey Joel?" Lorde asked, turning to her producer. "What is it, Ella?" he asked, still puzzled.

Still wondering what to make of this strange sensation inside her, she looked directly at him and said, "Do you think we could cover 'Death Valley 69,' "That's When I Reach For My Revolver' and 'Public Image' with a full band? I think it's time for me to go in a new direction..."

 **THE END**


End file.
